Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Tagged by Sunny D.- 6 weird things about meeee.

1) Happiness is a well-made bed

I cannot sleep in an unmade bed. When I was a little Poly I was taught by Mommy to make my bed in the morning, sheets nice and tight, blankets pulled up and tucked under the pillows.

Most times the sheets are still warm, as I make the bed. The thought of a bed left unmade all day grosses me out.

The bed is a refuge from the rest of this messy world and should be treated with care and respect.


nicely made bed.





2) It's hard to make up your mind what you want to be when you grow up.

I've had 43 jobs in my short life so far. That's not counting 20 years of being a DJ for private parties and nightclubs here in NY & NJ. As a perfect Gemini, I would leave a day job as soon as I got bored or things got stupid or I just felt I had to move on for various other reasons (fired, layed-off, chased out).



I never had a problem securing a job being I make a good presentation, am energetic and have the gift of gab to baffle them with my bullshit.


My worse job was as a Biology lab assistant while I was in college and had to prepare experiments and clean up after them...YUK! Ever see a 55 gallon drum filled with rats in brine? How about a box filled with dried body parts?



My best job was as a store announcer for a large retail store, writing and delivering their commercials over the store PA system. It was a very creative job plus I was single and got to visit all the honeys in every department for research purposes.





3) Being in the right.

There are 2 ways to do things; the right way and the wrong way. My way is usually the right way- says I being the logical, resonable person I am.


However, I do have a tendency to drive people up the wall or flee for their sanity after spending a day with me.



Question: If I show you a better way to do something that makes sense, shouldn't you at least try it before dissing it? There, now that that's settled we can move on...















4) Tell me something I don't know...





I have a bad habit that I've been working on for years- No, it's not masturbation.


My problem is that I talk a lot; including finishing peoples sentences for them.
Maybe it's the NY trait of impatience or my rambling spirit, I have so much to say myself- why waste time listening to someone tell me something I already know or at least can guess where their going with their story. Come on now...let's be adult about this, time is too short to waste; but then again, you already knew that.




As a salesman, I should know when the fuck to shut up, shouldn't I? But then again...oh, here I go, there I go again...
* Under the impression that I know everything about everything?



















This is the spot at work, where we have our main computer. Under the counter is the veins to our brains...so to say....................MASTER COMPUTER!


I picture my brain somewhat wired like this- a jumble of wires, somehow all connected and functioning in a confused organized sort of way.



I have a lifetime of collected knowledge and life experience that I often share. I can talk intelligently on a myriad of subjects and like to, or rather feel the need to share my thoughts with people. Sometimes I fear my views and stories aren't as compelling as I think they are (especially if I've been drinking, and I forget the point I was going to make-duh)






5) I find humor in almost everything.


Leave it to me to crack a joke in the most somber of occasions. I can't help it.


Whether it is just a nervous reflex or I'm just demented- I'm usually getting a gentle elbow to the ribs from the Mrs. or she just rolls her eyes and shakes her head, stifling a laugh.

Shes says that I look like Deniro but act like Robim Williams.

I take that as a compliment.




6) I am a trusting soul.




It seems no matter how long I trust people and get burned, I still give them the benifit of the doubt and hope for the best. It is the only way I can be. But I find in life you get what you give; I have known so many people that blindly trusted me, that it is the only way I can be. Even though people can be absolute hard-ons I still can't be. A warrior-yes! but loving and helpful to most that cross my path.

It is the Christian thing to do.



Now, if I understand this correctly, I pick 6 people to reveal 6 weird things about themselves.:




Charlotte

Cinderella

Manny

Zoooom

Strumpet

Icecoldcoke


TAG- YOUR IT!





42 comments:

jin said...

Ok...5 of your 6 are not so weird.
But,

#1?

That scared the hell OUT OF ME!!!
That's weird...freaky shit polydude...

I may have nightmares tonight in my unmade bed!
;-)
:-D

mushroom said...

I reckon there's humour to be found in almost all situations

AristoNeeks said...

hmmm.. im a lot like you, poly.

except for #1 and i dont have the gift of the gab...

wow, you've had a lot of jobs.. ever been an auditor? does it get any better?

and what did you study to be able to do that many jobs??

*awe-struck silence*

starbender said...

Oh, as a Gemini, we would get along
P-E-R-F-E-C-T!!!

' ]

erika said...

I don't trusting people is a bad thing. I think its a great gift.

Dino said...

43 wow sounds like you'd have a lot of job related stories to tell.

The bed thing had me laughing. I never I mean never make my bed.

Cha Cha said...

I sleep on my couch. My bed has a pile of clothes on top of it. My bed consists of a mattress atop a board on the floor.

Maybe that is one of the weird things I will use in my list.

Gotta work on my list. I'll have it up soonish. Thanks for inviting me to play. I love that shit!

Your list is great!

ICECOLDCOKE said...

cheers for the tag poly....i was born inside a mushroom up on a rainy scottish hill,began chanting freedom at the age of two with a kilt on,smoked and drank like a fish at the age of five and the rest they say is history..your blog continues to get better,much respect for all the hard work you have put in over the past years..good luck with the future..hope there ar more posts on the way

ICECOLDCOKE said...

oh and i also fell down a mine shaft atop a biscuit tin lid and caused the infamous coal mine slip of 1875,once i dusted my al jolson face down i farted on a sheep through frustration....im quite old ye know poly

Anonymous said...

Poly, you and Py are certainly keeping me busy. I'll post in the next day or two. Sudden changes on the homefront make posting an almost impossibility.

Cinderella said...

The bed has to be messy!! A neat bed is a boring bed with no nigh t life lol

Loved your weird but not so weird answers!!

I will do this Tag on my next entry, I promise! ;)

Manny said...

My bed has to be made as soon as I get up. I can't stand an un made bed. I also have to wash my sheets once a week. I just love climbing in a bed that smell's of downy april fresh.

I know a little bit about a lot of thing's. I refer to myself as a wealth of useless knowledge.LOL

Zen Wizard said...

You remind your wife of Robin Williams?

I can only take that dude in very, VERY small doses...married to him? The poor woman...

Well, she is suffering enough, so if you look like DeNiro get that mole removed for her for Xmas, for goodness sakes!

JLee said...

What a colorful character you are, Poly! I can relate to the "finding the humor in everything". Don't ever change your childlike trust. It's a great quality :)

Eve Grey said...

i LOVE your list. it says so much about you.
i also love to hear myself talk. but i only make my bed when having guests over.

Mone said...

you are such a sweet person Poly. Will you still like me if i tell you that I almost never make my bed?

Polyman3 said...

Jin,
The bed thing seems to have created quite a stir. Sorry folks,
but another thing I do which drives Mrs P further up the wall is; before I get under the covers, I pull the bottom sheet tight & fluff my pillow.
Please Jin- Just take a deep breath...

Mushy,
Most definatly, I have even been known to make a funny at funerals.

Neko,
yea, I've been working since I was 15 and by the time I was 16 had 4 jobs already; in a pizzeria, bakery, janitor in a store & plastic factory worker. I look at it all as learning experiences. Sadly, no auditing...although I took care of all my own books for DJ & Electronic Companies I owned.

Star,
I love your creative humor and intelligent comments. I believe we do get along quite well, dear lady.

Erika,
I like to think so, even though I'v been burned a few times.

Dino babe,
Yea, the bed thing is kind of neurotic. I have known so many people (co-workers) that I liked so much and now are just a memory,
and also many funny & sad work related stories.

Strumpet,
Yours sounds like a type platform bed, which is cool. Tell you the truth, my favorite bed was in my Moms house where I grew up. It was 2 thick materess's right on the floor. No squeeks and when I fell out, it was just a roll to the floor.

Ice,
I always thought you Scotts were a hardy lot- now I know, and your a great guy. Would love to chat with you over a pint someday mate.

Charlotte,
Whenever your ready would be fine, love. I could keep you plenty busy,
for sure..wink.

Cinderella,
Even when I sleep, the covers got to be nice an straight or else I have to get up and straighten them out. I'm so pathetic.
Can't wait to see your list, you seem so normal to me.

See Manny,
Great minds think alike. I knew it!If we slept together it would be heavon in a nice clean orderly fashion...
and we could impress each other with useless knowledge & trivia.

Zen,
Yea, I have to remind Mrs P. how much she loves me from time to time to put up with my neurosis.
Shes a saint. Been together 20 years- we met in 1986 in a nightclub I was DJing at. She should have run when she could!

Jlee,
Thanks honey, the next 50 years should be just as funny. I don't think I've changed much from when I was a kid. I was a clown then, and still am.

Sassy,
Your another one I'd love to meet-
you seem to be a lot of fun and I could coach you on the importance of a well made bed.

Mone,
Of course- the bed doesn't make the person- the person makes the bed...Huh? I think that means something.
...and you are so sweet, I could hug you, then hug you again, and again, and again. Danke gut!

Dan said...

How about a box filled with dried body parts?

Polyman, you disappoint me. I would have thought that this was your favorite job.

ZooooM said...

I don't know how many times you remind me of my own Gemini ness. I'll take your tag and run with it!

onan the bavarian said...

Most of these are only weird compared with the wider community. Among bloggers, many OCD qualities are the norm, otherwise nothing would ever get blogged properly.

I know numbers 3 and 5. I used to have 6, but I gave it up after the first 40 years or so, once I realised it wasn't working for me.

Humour and last laugh said...

ugsapkQuite a story. I identify with many parts.

Spider Girl said...

Wrinkled sheets make me cranky too....but that job as lab assistant actually intrigues me. Then again, years ago I seriously considered work in the funeral/embalming industry.

Theresa said...

This is by far one of my favorite posts of yours.
Most meme's are boring, but once in a while someone manages to make them interesting. True here. Well done, my hot Polyman.

Manny said...

LMAO

Gyrobo said...

I've never seen a seen a 55 gallon vat full of rats in brine.

ICECOLDCOKE said...

poly-yeah mate ill buy the first round,then we can go all scottish on folks

Dan said...

I have my own version of this up right now. Mine has nipples ... and you can win $25.

Polyman3 said...

Hey Dan,
Even that is toooo creepy for me,
gave me bad dreams.

Searabbit,
So true, we are all deeply affected by our upbringing & parents attention, or lack of. They make sure we are taught the rules and licensed properly to drive a car but get no training what so ever in being a parent. So some take to it nicely while others
stumble blindly through it, transfering their own insecurities to their offspring.
At this point in my life I believe all familes are in one way or another disfunctional. It is our responsibility as we grow to try to shed those insecurities groomed into our psyche and get beyond it. I think I have successfully shed that baggage.
Or as Mrs Poly says; Its now our turn to fuck up our childrens lives.

Zoooom,
We are alike. Isn't that frightning? I love your weirdness.

robmcj,
Trust is probably the hardes qualities to hold onto as you get older and are subjected to so many lies & deceit. I've had my fill, and have also done my share (to my shame)but I guess it's a question of faith (or lack of) in your fellow man.

Humour and last laugh,
Hey- long time no hear (I'm to blame for that also) hope all is well. You can ID with my list? and I thought you were normal!

Hi spider girl,
Ah, you like a well made bed also? good, good. Then your welcome here.
Funeral business? A childhood friend of mine became a funeral director- as a matter of fact he handled my dads remains. It was so weird to see him all serious and busisnesslike, meanwhile I'm punching him in the arm trying to trip him up.

Theresa,
Hello, Great to see ya! I apoligize for not coming around...
your one of my first cyber friends and I promise to visit more regularly. I'm glad you like me and my weirdness. XOXO

Manny doll,
I'm happy to see ya again.
Love those legs.

Gyrobo,
No? never seen it? Well now Iknow what to get you for Christmas.

Ice,
Yes! I'm getting my kilts dry cleaned for the occasion.

Dan,
Nipples? $25.00? I'm there!

morbid misanthrope said...

Seen a fifty-five gallon drum of rats in brine? Shit, I have two in my unmade bed.

Webmiztris said...

#1 made me laugh. We NEVER make our bed. Hell, we practically live in it, so what's the point? :D

Webmiztris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Becky said...

I've got that rambling problem too, thus Becky's ramblings.

I had my boss call me this morning on my day off and try to call me into work, and I told her no, she asked me why and I said, "because I'm fucking tired" I still can't believe i said that to her, I was half asleep, that bitch woke me up, lol.

Polyman3 said...

Morb,
Oh, how nice...Have you named your little furry friends. I'm sure they are a great comfort to you on those cold snowy nights. I wonder if you can teach them to make the bed? Hmmmm.

Miztris,
I hope you don't eat in the bed- that really makes the hair on my back rise...ewww.

Becky,
Ha! that will teach the self rightous bitch!

morbid misanthrope said...

All the rats are named Thomas, and they sometimes sing to me even though they're all dead. They sound like James Earl Jones on helium and usually sing about Baba Yaga working at the DMV.

Manny said...

Show us a Christmas picture of you as a child. Please!!!

mist1 said...

I make jokes in even the most inappropriate situations. At my grandfather's funeral, I told jokes. I was supposed to read a Psalm.

onan the bavarian said...

Hilariously true.

Polyman3 said...

Mist1-
Now that's funny!

Robmcj,
I only speak truth...yea right!

Sunny Delight said...

*hanging my head in shame* I have been so remiss in my blog reading...

These are soo great...what a great collection of common weirdnesses we all have....so many things about us all that are unique yet similar....

rock on darlin'

Angela said...

Wow. Well, first off Poly, your post was hilarious. As the wife of the gemini I affectionately refer to as Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, I laughed out loud when you said that you believe that you get what you give. Are you my husband?!

He says the same thing ALL the time. So when I'm fed up with it I tell him that yes, this is why I treat him like shit, so he'd better start giving a little more. ;) (Mostly kidding -- I have in fact said this to him before.)

He also has held more jobs that he could possibly remember -- usually simultaneously, as you have, and quite a few in radio, sales, teaching, etc. As a musician, he also likes to tell people that he has been in over 100 bands -- as if that's a good thing.

With him, I've learned that the worst thing he can think to call someone is "boring." God forbid that anyone should/would bore him.

The upside is that incredible wit, amazing intelligence and a life that constantly keeps me on my toes. Thanks for the smile and for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. Dan's blog rocks the house and has helped me change my own career bath to that of becoming a Zen Buddhist monk.

p.s. Thank you for not scaring me the way Dan did. His nipple post creeped me out. :)

Leigh said...

I found your list not to be the slightest bit weird. Maybe because the list sounds like me. If I couldn't laugh about life I am sure by now I would be in a padded room somewhere. Although sometimes I crack jokes and laugh at all the wrong times. Who doesn't make there bed as soon as their feet touch their floor? I thought everyone did.

Thanks for the giggles today, I really enjoyed your blog.

Liz Dwyer said...

I can't relate to the bedmaking thing personally because I never have had that problem, but oh how you reminded me of my one gemini boyfriend who went from aspiring rap artist to security guard to natural healer all in one year.

At least you are probably skilled at getting along with so many people and I can only imagine the breadth and depth of stories you can tell us.

Wait, maybe you are that boyfriend...I never knew what happened to him. (Just kidding, I think.)